Sperm donation giant California Cryobank warns of a data breach

HELLFIRE

https://www.bleepingcomputer.com/news/security/sperm-donation-giant-california-cryobank-warns-of-a-data-breach/

US sperm donor giant California Cryobank is warning customers it suffered a data breach that exposed customers’ personal information. California Cryobank is a full-service sperm bank providing frozen donor sperm and specialized reproductive services, such as egg and embryo storage. …

Spank Bank Caught With Trousers Down, Gives Cold Comfort Of Free Credit Monitoring. That’s Alot (Of News) To Swallow.

Why are sperm donations more expensive than blood donations? They are hand made.

A sperm donor, a carpenter, and Julius Ceasar walk into a bar. He came, he saw, he conquered.

Why did the sperm cross the road? I put on the wrong socks this morning.

I was in an unfortunate accident and my sperm became electrified. Came as a shock to my girlfriend

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

What’s the difference between a sperm bank and a regular bank? After you make a deposit at the sperm bank, you lose interest.

Some people think sperm just magically travels to the penis when in reality there’s a whole duct to transport them.
It might not seem like it, but there’s a vas deferens between the two.

Did you see the update to the sperm whale Wikipedia page? [Cetacean needed]

I’ll quit while I’m ahead. XD XD

Regards

broknsymetry

HELLFIRE a full-service sperm bank

Do they have men in uniform pumping the hose, checking your dip stick then wiping you clean?

px_eliezer_

broknsymetry Do they have men in uniform pumping the hose, checking your dip stick then wiping you clean?

Old: “You can trust your car to the man who wears the star, the big bright Texaco star.”

New: “You can trust your sperm to the man whose hand is firm, the big bright Sexaco star.”

telcodad

Well, would a “containment” breach there have been any better? 🙂

HELLFIRE

TheRegister’s take on things : https://www.theregister.com/2025/03/19/sperm_bank_data_leak/ Came for the puns and snark, but feels like I got hit by a wet noodle

One of the world’s largest sperm banks, California Cryobank, is in a sticky situation. … California Cryobank has touted itself as having the largest sperm supply in the world, distributing to all 50 US states and more than 30 countries internationally. The biz did not immediately respond to The Register’s questions about the break-in, including how many customers were affected and if the miscreants deployed ransomware and demanded an extortion payment. One wonders why it’s taken almost a year for this all to come to light, so to speak. … Recently, ransomware crews and other cybercriminals have increasingly targeted sensitive medical data — including plastic surgery patients’ personal info and photos as well as a cancer patient’s nudes — and used this stolen data to pressure medical facilities into paying an extortion demand. Following the network breach, California Cryobank claims it’s beefed up its defenses to prevent another stain on its security record. “We have implemented, and will continue to adopt, additional safeguards and technical security measures to further protect and monitor our systems,” the letter sent to affected customers reads. … We’d suggest hiring a few penetration testers as well.

Regards